The word yes in James Joyce' famous line "And yes I said yes I will yes..." seems like the clearest word in the English language. How could a yes be misinterpreted? How could yes be anything but another word for I will, I agree, I am with you all the way.
Alas, the word yes can mean different things across cultures, so it's easy to see how the word can at times be interpreted differently. Simply, in some cultures a yes can mean no; a yes can mean maybe; a yes can mean I understand what you are saying; a yes can mean nothing more than I hear what you are saying; and sometimes a yes can mean yes. Some cultures like a little debate even though they are eventually going to say yes. This happened to me many times during my years in France.
How could yes be so damn confusing? Well, sometimes a no may be a no-no in some countries as in Asia, where people want to preserve harmony in conversation, so the listener has to figure out what the speaker really means with his yes. And South Americans just don't want to disappoint you or cause any friction.
So how can you-international students and professionals in the United States-learn how to use yes in English?
Be direct. Say yes when you mean I agree or I will. Say maybe when you are unsure. Say no if you disagree.
This sounds simple, but look at this exchange between Cybele from Venezuela, a Ph.D. student at New York University, and me.
Me: So you're coming to our home for July 4th?
Cybele: Yes, I'm coming.
Cybele: Yes, I'm coming.
July 4th comes and there is no Cybele.
Me: Where are you? What did your yes mean?
Cybele: I'm in Manhattan working on a paper for class. My yes meant I would love to come but I wasn't sure I could, but I wanted to remain optimistic so I just said yes. And I wanted to make you feel happy.
Oh my! She was hoping she could come but wasn't sure. This is how the conversation should have gone.
Me:So you're coming to our home for July 4th?
Cybele: I'd love to come more than anything, but I can't really give you a yes yet until I see how the paper I'm writing is going. I really would love to join you and will let you know as soon as I have a better idea of whether I can make it.
With that answer, Cybele will not make an American angry, whereas her first answer can confuse or infuriate the listener when she doesn't show up.
So does yes always mean yes in English? It is true that sometimes we say Yeah, yeah, yeah when we mean we disagree. Sometimes we say Fine when we don't mean things are fine at all. This can be understood with the speaker's sarcastic tone of voice.
But when you do mean yes, say it loudly and clearly. Remember Americans love an enthusiastic yes.
If I say to a student, "Would you like to do a presentation on George Orwell for next class?" and if he says, "Yeah," then I have a feeling he does not want to do it at all.
So learn these enthusiastic ways to show you really mean yes.
Sometimes we use the expressions below to show strong agreement with a touch of humor.
Shall we go get some ice cream?
And sometimes Americans use the word sure to show an enthusiastic yes.
Did you enjoy reading this article on yes? I hope your answer is the following: I sure did!
Priscilla Karant specializes in teaching writing to the advanced international professional, academic English to graduate and undergraduate students, and speaking skills to the international professional.